Curmudgeons in action

This is a crime scene picture. My more delicate readers may already be thinking: "I knew all along that these curmudgeons were nothing but axe murderers." Sorry to disappoint you: this is a 15-pound maul that I bought to split wood. 

There are so many things wrong with that last sentence, 1) curmudgeons are not known for going outside to do ridiculously energetic things like splitting wood and 2) curmudgeons aren't really known for lifting heavy things overhead. 

Having cleared that up, just WHAT is this thing doing in my stable?  Well, when I was way younger (yet still cheap as dirt) I bought it thinking I would split wood with it. Hah! One attempt and decided to hire "people" to do it for me. 

But it has had its uses over the years. Why, just recently, I used it to pound a bird feeder holder into the ground. Unfortunately, I used every newton of force I could muster and promptly pounded the holder into a pool pump pipe lurking just below the turf. 

Now, watching the water spray about, I first thought another water feature in our landscape plan would not be unwelcome, but when you're watching Princess Temperature water that you have paid dearly for squirt away, you quickly recalculate. 

Solution 1: duct tape. Two minutes later, solution 2: pool service people 911.