SPAM

I strongly suspect curmudgeons are missing out.

There are legs of lamb, roast beefs, even a roasted hog or two to be had.

But there is only one SPAM.  Delightfully spiced ham with the same half life as highly processed Plutonium, it is a food miracle.

It is also a national hero - both Hawaii and England live by the stuff, as a result of WW II.  Which sort of supports the Plutonium bit.

Here's a theory - eat delicious SPAM with a Plutonium half life, and you lengthen your own life.

24,000 years: I'm working on it.