Have you heard of these things? I've been to my fair share of Portuguese restaurants in the "Ironbound" section of Newark New Jersey. No, I don't carry a concealed weapon; Ironbound is a unique area of Newark that is safe. And it abounds in great restaurants that serve food to die for.
Giant lobsters and whole fishes show up at your table. A huge vertical cut of meat is skewered to your satisfaction table side. The servers act like they are thrilled to serve you. In short, a dining experience rare in today's dining world - let alone in downtown Newark, where Cluck-in-a-buckets still have bulletproof glass.
So when I heard about these Tapas things, I was all for checking them out. Appetite intact, off we went. Lesson one - they may be Southern European, but they are NOT Portuguese. Lesson two - no whole lobsters, fish, or, actually food of any sort. Tapas "food" is an array of pieces of art made from whatever is tossed out of the Portuguese restaurants the night before down the street.
When you enthusiastically stick your fork into the opening course, I don't think it should immediately deflate into something the dumpster diver from last night eschewed. And since each tapa serves approximately 1/4 of an adult, you gleefully share bunches of them around the table, trying the great spices used to hide the roadkill flavor and commenting on such a unique food...until the bill arrives. You see, each Tapas costs like a genuine full meal.
If there was enough Tapas left on any plate, you would liberally anoint you waiter with it. But of course, they've thought of everything: think of that college tuition you just saved yourself from!
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