Waterworld

Water softeners are big business. They are sold to first-time home buyers because soft water is kind to pipes and other plumbing-related things. The sales guys are careful to omit mention that the monthly salt sacks weigh 50 pounds, seeing what a great selling point it becomes later for their salt delivery service.

We curmudgeons will have none of this. The harder the water, the better. You emerge from a shower squeaky clean. The clear glass shower walls may not be all that clear anymore, but we'll just call it "patina."

Now, hard water systems aren't perfect. All manner of minerals build up in the pipes, so if your house is oh, say, 70 years old (like mine), certain precautions must be taken:

1) Don't flush a toilet while someone is taking a shower.

2) Don't start the dishwasher while a shower is underway.

3) Nor the laundry.

And most importantly: 4) Don't set the lawn watering system to go on during peak shower times. That sucker pulls ALL the water out of the water main.

Four simple rules.  And, frankly, on boring days, only guidelines. Loud cursing and pounding on shower walls has its entertainment value.