Thursday, October 3, 2013

For the Birds


When you vacation in a nature preserve in Florida, you can expect all manner of beasties - swarming, annoying no-seeums, alligators, snakes and the like. Wretched, but expected. 

The birds? Turns out they're just as annoying. They've learned that you are a great meal ticket. Crows and seagulls lurk noisily nearby, waiting to attack if foodstuffs are sensed. 

This place is like the Hitchcock movie, except they attack you with well-aimed bodily wastes instead of beaks. At this very moment, I recline on the beach with seagulls by the dozens warily regarding me from 10-15 feet away while crows leer from the trees behind me. 

This place is host to more of a battle of wills than the billed "relaxing nature preserve." Well, these effluvium-producing creatures didn't count on running into a cranky curmudgeon. War is about to break out, and I don't think they know what they're up against.

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