Lawn Mowing

You would probably be thinking that as a curmudgeon, I would grudgingly mow my own grass to be sure it was done right.  Not so!  I hire "people" to do it and whine at them if it isn't done right.  Not good for employee relations, but right up a curmudgeon's alley.

As it turns out, I live in a neighborhood that is crawling with "people" hired to do lawns.  They make a LOT of noise, but at least are quick.  And they're all the same: 1) Mow, 2) Whack, and 3) Blow.  Each step noisier than the last, it is the blow bit that really gets my ire.  These "people" seem to believe deep down inside that if you blow refuse, it magically disappears.  Of course, we all know that they're busily blowing it into your neighbor's yard whose "people" will blow it back, thereby guaranteeing eternal employment for all.

It really frosts me when I try to drive by one of these jujubes thinking they're blowing stuff on the street into another dimension when they're actually peppering passing vehicles, like mine.  The other day I was cleaning the interior of my car in the driveway, and the crew working next door blew grass clippings into the air - presumably to disappear - and promptly deposited them in my clean interior.

And I ain't got my gun.