Important Mail

I recently got a very important-looking envelope in the mail. In big letters it said "Notice of Intent to Deliver" with "Personal and Confidential" stamped on it, PLUS a huge product code thingie - with a 20-digit number, no less (!).

Wow! Did it ever look official! What urgent matter must it contain? Well, we'll never know - I promptly threw it out.

NOTHING important ever comes in an envelope plastered with crap like that. Simple arithmetic aside (my Social Security number is only 9 digits and credit cards are 16 - what on this earth could possibly warrant 20?), it was obvious that the "notice" was abject BS, seeing as how it WAS delivered.

They also really goofed it up by putting a return address - that of my fancy Amish fireplace (with the look of real fire) that I got last year - on it.

Man, those Amish are tenacious.