Answering Machines

Our traditional telephone service has become more nuisance than benefit. We here in curmudgeon central are pestered by so many unsolicited solicitation robocalls, we now let our answering machine take first run at all calls. People we know call us on our cellphones, not the "landline." And it's not like there are any surprises - the phone displays who's calling, the TV displays who's calling and there's a special ring for everyone in our personal phone directory.

Of course, in the old days, such features didn't exist. So back in my gay single days, since I didn't want to miss an important call from a potential date, I invested in an answering machine - the hottest new phone technology of the mid-70s. Being a new technology and all, your message had to coach people to "wait for the beep."

I believe I have made it clear that curmudgeons aren't living at the forefront of technology, but 35 years into the technology of answering machines, I think we can dispense with the "wait for the beep" advice, don't you?