Local Dining

In my part of scenic New Jersey, we are awash in Italian Restaurants.  This is due, in part, to the fact that around the turn of the last century, New York millionaires were building mansions around about here left and right and imported skilled masons and such from Italy, who then settled...and apparently liked to cook.

Dining recently at one of these places, I seemed to be surrounded by relatives of the owner - these people were getting special dishes, a wink instead of a bill, and all manner of special attention.  For the first time in my life, I felt like a second-class citizen.  I'm a WASP dammit, and a curmudgeon to boot, so this didn't go over at all well with me.

I want special attention and winks too - maybe I should join the Elks, or better yet, the Freemasons.  THEY'VE even got a secret handshake.