Eyebrows

The curmudgeon understands that the human form requires hair here and there for friction control and stuff (despite women's eternal effort to defy that)


But, eyebrows?  Although the curmudgeon suspects we would all look pretty scary without them, they have pretty much lost their historical function of shielding the sun.


Unlike his hero, Andy Rooney, the curmudgeon's brows grow down, shielding not just the sun, but eyesight


Don't start me on ear hair