Glasnost

We all know the Russkies are a hardy sort. After WW II, if Stalin wasn't killing off his own people, he was busily annexing unwilling countries. 

Despite each of the long histories of these countries, he crushed their spirits, erected all manner of statues to himself and that idiot Lenin, built hideous housing (to save money for a military that we now know was unsustainable). And similar sociopathic behavior. 

So when the USSR fell apart, the constituent countries took great pleasure in erasing any vestige of their former oppressors: toppling all those egregious soviet statues and re-declaring their new-found freedom. 

The above is one of my favorites: some formerly serious Soviet war memorial has now been gleefully redecorated. With American superheroes no less! (Ronald McDonald, too, but that only adds insult to injury.)

However, the Ruskies weren't done yet: they lodged a formal complaint to have the memorial restored to its former boring look. 

Fat chance of that happening.  

Chicago Beef Sandwiches

Have you ever had one of these things? They are the quintessential Chicago sandwich, adored by the locals. 

Essentially, they are composed of a thinly shaved beefish meat product that is somehow super-saturated with garlic. This is then dunked into a noxious equally garlic super-saturated warm ostensibly beef-based sort of broth. Then the whole soaking wet mess, along with a few peppers, is tossed into a bun. 

The end product is every bit as revolting as you would expect. The broth runs down your chin, the bun turns to mush, but those locals just love them. 

On the other hand, civilized diners aren't ready yet. 

Family Tree

Big brother Buzz has been doing A LOT of investigation into our family tree - for good, bad and indifferent. 

When your family tree stretches back to the Mayflower on both sides, good, bad and indifferent will each play a role. And you can imagine the daunting task he has had (400 years of blending). I think he's almost done - I certainly hope so since the details fill 300 pages. Hell, there are dukes in England that can do the same thing with few well-placed murals in the great hall. 

Sure, after 400 years, we're related to Presidents, founders of New England towns - even a 2-time mayor of NYC, river founders and namers and all manner of things. 

But today's story centers on the small peninsula we summer on. Turns out, we are related to virtually all of the families there. VIRTUALLY ALL of them. This is where things get really scary. 

Maine has long, cold, dark winter nights - I shudder to think who was cuddling with whom back in the day. It is a wonder I still have all my teeth and only the two eyes. 

I Watch a Lot of Period TV

And I watch a lot of TV, period. But with my Apple TV currently on the fritz, I've been catching up on old DVDs, like Perry Mason, the Avengers, Tales of the Gold Monkey, Brisco County and such. 

Boy do these guys devote a lot of opening airtime to theme songs and entertaining vignettes of the stars. Sheesh, you have to fast forward for about 10 minutes each show just to get the actual plot started. 

And when you're binge-watching them, this becomes tedious in the extreme. One more Perry Mason theme song and woe be the next dog-walker who happens by. 

Worse, just when you get to a turning point in the plot, they play some ridiculously loud music - way, way lounder than the dialog. Dramatic effect in the day no doubt, but loud enough to make my wife yell from another room just like Estelle Costanza "turn that crap down!"

It gets worse - and don't breath a word how I know this - the Gilligan's Island theme even names each cast member and their role in the show. 

Just shoot me. 

Lieutenant Tragg

Lieutenant Tragg, for those of you who haven't experienced Perry Mason's foil is the definitive definition of a curmudgeon. 

Take away the shortness, the hair and the hat, he could be me. 

Which means he's damn fine. The world could use a few more of him, and upon reflection, me as well.