Manly Stuff

As a curmudgeon, I am a man of action. Why, my powered recliner gives me a real boost up. 

Once upright, get out of my way. Mostly because I really wobble and can inadvertently harm innocents nearby. 

My calves have the wounds to prove things. 

Be aware - be very aware: I spare no one. 

Cops

I live in a small northern NJ town. NJ is big on small towns. 

We have cops. Goodness knows why. Outside of fender-benders (which require absolutely no cops), things are a dead zone here. 

So are the brains in these "cops".

There is apparently some sort of promotion chain and we have detectives, too. 

As I understand things, in a small town, detectives sit behind some crappy desk for 20 years and retire at our expense without having had to do anything. 

No wonder my taxes are so poorly spent. 

WW2

We Curmudgeons are the sons of the greatest generation. These guys were the absolute greatest people - they went to war on purpose.On purpose. Geesh. 

Our idiot government has actually invented new wars. So we could die for no reason whatsoever. 

I came very close to being inducted in the Vietnam stupidity. Vietnam? Who gives a flying fuck? We needed to be there? 50,000 guys died. 50,000 for no reason?

Apparently a government thought so - oh, that's encouraging. 

Curmudgeons at home

At home, we Curmudgeons shoulder things like responsibilities and such.

 I have a Brown University degree and let me tell you, shouldering is something they didn't teach me. Who knew what was expected from Sainted wives?.

Fuse blown? Me. Downstairs. Stairs: 13, I've counted. I'm turning 65. Downstairs is not a good thing - it is the exact opposite. 

Going down is challenge enough - getting back up means a nap. 

At my age - crap - done. 

Being Bald

I, on the tradition of the Curmudgeon Associeté Generale am bald as a coot. (Whatever a coot is - ow, whoops - me).

A recent Axe "Clean Cut Look" ad: the bozo in the ad puts the gook in his hair, combs it (an astonishing achievement, given the look most idiots aspire to today) and is pronounced "clean cut" looking. Despite the fact that he has a 2-day beard growth unevenly crapping up his face. 

Clean cut look? I don't think so.