I had hoped that there would be nothing left to annoy me about tattoos, but on our recent trip to Florida, I beheld the be all to end all.
We buy our sunscreen there because all the namby-pambies up here only want sunscreen protection numbers like 100 or 30,000 or some crap, so that's all you can find at stores. In sunny Florida, you can still buy a good old #2 if you so choose. We choose 4s and 8s, which, being only in the single digits, are impossible to find here in NJ.
So here we are in an entire aisle of sunscreen in a Florida Walgreens and what do I see? Coppertone Tattoo Guard - "to guard against tattoo fading or blurring." I kid you not. I nearly lost a delicious Sonic lunch right there. It got even more revolting by going on to proclaim "great for larger tattooed areas."
I kept thinking "we're a doomed society," but then I saw an upside: say I notice a nubile young female in a bikini starting her tan at the pool. She has a small, neat tattoo somewhere tasteful, yet visible. If I had some Coppertone Tattoo Guard handy, I could have approached her under the guise of protecting her. What a great pick-up line.
However absolutely unlikely a scenario, I had to think a pleasant thought to save my lunch.
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