What fashion nitwit brought these things back? I can understand that they were a good idea - BEFORE THE ZIPPER WAS INVENTED. The last thing I need is a delay between me and my important business.
If you're stupid enough to go "commando" and catch your willie in a zipper, you're an idiot. But fumbling with buttons (and modern designers' fondness for turning them sideways in odd places) is no way to approach essential functions you engage in a few times a day.
I agree with Seinfeld's assessment that "down there" is no place for sharp metal teeth that mesh together, but for normal guys wearing underwear, screwing around with buttons is beyond stupid.
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