Moxie

What is it with all these namby-pambies who are slave to sickeningly sweet sodas?  They need to broaden their horizons.  As good as it is, Dr. Pepper is just a start.  Try cream sodas, Root Beer, and Sarsaparilla - work your way up the taste chain of fine sodas.

Finally, have some Moxie - it can only be described as a special occasion soda - the Champagne of fine sodas.  The trick, it seems, is for everyone to find their own personal "special occasion."  In 30 years of graciously extending a courtesy taste of this hard-to-find elixir to close friends, the curmudgeon has yet to find a single soul willing to even finish a taste sampler, let alone say "mmm, good!"

I can only assume that they have just never found their personal "special occasion."  Ahh well, all the more for me.