There Will Always Be The New Yorker

When Pictures Say 1,000 Words

Cowboys & Indians

You no doubt suspect that, because of our age, we old fart curmudgeons are fans of classic 1950s Cowboy & Indian movies. Nothing could be further from the truth.

In addition to being incredibly lame, these movies merely serve to remind us of a very sorry chapter in our history...unless you're into manifest destiny and ethnic cleansing and all.

To see them pop up on TV - with or without John Wayne - is just an unpleasant reminder of how insensitive American thinking was even in the 1950s: Cowboys were always the good guys and those pesky Indians the bad guys.
       

Let's face it - the only worthy Cowboys & Indians show was F Troop.

They Still "Drive" In Massachusetts

Lest we ever forget what it is to drive in Massachusetts, I have obtained a top-secret instructional document from their driving test.

It speaks for itself.

So, should you be innocently driving about and you encounter this sign:

                   

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Math

Let's face it, not everyone is cut out for mathematics. Infamously, even the talking Barbie doll once proclaimed "math is HARD."

Back in my school days - when men were men and brains were required - it was a lucky day if we could bring our slide rules to a test. Today, you can bring calculators, textbooks and your personal math coaches along.

For this doomed math student, there is no hope. Fancy calculator in hand, he has arrived at that point in time when he should consider switching majors. Or maybe think about a vocational school.