Cup Holders

Having recently travelled by air, I am, of course, reassured that it is the safest way to travel (it was even before those Homeland "security" nincompoops got involved).  And it's nice that I can read, listen to music, snooze or even watch TV, but I am compelled to ask the burning question: where are the cup holders?  

We have become the cup holder nation - we have them in our furniture, they're in movie theaters, we even have them in our vehicles (more on this crisis to come).

But not planes. Seems like the perfect place - airlines don't serve food to the hoi polloi in coach anymore, but they do serve drinks.  And most anybody equipped with legs finds those drop-down trays a tad tedious.

So I ask you: where are the cup holders?

Veterinarians Strike Again

I know I shouldn't return to past topics too often, but so many are such rich sources of aggravation they deserve special attention - like bad driving, wretched excesses in attire and appearance, Buzz...and Veterinarians (see relevant observations back in March).

Yikes - there is simply no end to the ways they have to gouge you.  And, as I mentioned previously, they've got you - if you ever even contemplate boarding your pet, their vaccinations need to be up to date and they should have had a physical.  A cat.  A physical!

But here's the real kick in the teeth (quite literally): $460 TO $580 FOR TEETH CLEANING.  Not to mention the physical beforehand ($70), the blood test ($225), vaccinations, baba dis and baba dat.  Hell, they should have picked up my cat here at home and returned her afterwards for that kind of money.

And don't even ask about fecal floatations.  Just shoot me.

Canadian Geese

The Curmudgeon lives in an area that is gaily speckled with parks, ponds, golf courses and corporate parks.  As a result, he lives in an area that is gaily speckled with Canadian Geese.

Unlike Canadian PEOPLE, who have apparently come to terms with their climate, these pests have discovered that life is sweeter here south of the border.  And, apparently, VERY sweet - they have relocated en mass, gleefully enjoying our bounty...and then promptly excreting it.

I worked with a benighted woman (growing up in Jersey City, she had apparently never seen "wildlife") who FED the cute geese at our corporate pond at lunch.  Afterwards, due to their special way of saying "thank you" by excreting copiously in the adjoining parking lot, the company issued a rule that employees refrain from this practice.

I have a better idea - tell the geese that Jersey City would welcome them!

A Note on Bass

The curmudgeon has, he must admit, an affinity for a good bass line.   When my stereo pounds out the music it was bought for at the volume it was meant for, things bounce.  Give me good ole Rock & Roll at hearing-endangering volumes, and I am transported.

Perhaps the stereo show in NYC in 1984 helped - I was wandering through the Cerwin Vega showroom just as they hit the definitive moment in Emerson, Lake and Palmer's "Tank."  It was being played VERY loudly on a $1600 pair of speakers that were the size of a small car.  My chest compressed with each note.  I was never the same again.

My guiding principle: There is music that simply can't be played loud enough.

Especially when my sainted wife is trying to make some obscure point.

(This has been re-published with a favorite photo of me).

Farewell, Paradise

Today, I bid goodbye to this little corner of paradise.  I must admit it was grand, but when things look particularly good, the Curmudgeon Handbook always advises caution.  

And a good thing, too - every place has its seamy underbelly, and Sanibel is no exception.

I refer, of course, to the sudden availability of sweet potato fries all over the island.  This is clearly the handiwork of some powerful & organized effort, and that can only mean one thing:  organized crime has used this innocuous item to get a toehold here.

And it can only get worse: I see Kale Chips in Sanibel's future.  I'm getting out in the nick of time.