I have very little reason to go into banks these days, what with ATM machines, depositing checks with my phone, and whatnot.
Yet here in the odd land of New Jersey, banks in our small downtown villages all have parking lots while restaurants don't. It's a real puzzler.
However, today's topic is the safety of ATMs. Although out here in the suburbs we did have a proud curmudgeon complain once about having an ATM installed near his house (concerns of attracting the criminal element to their quiet neighborhood and such), it is happily not much of a problem.
Nonetheless, it is clear that this young lady's grandmother has things well in hand.
The Curmudgeon Repor
The "t" is silent, mostly because it's missing.
Friday, April 24, 2015
Thursday, April 23, 2015
View to a Sunrise
Believe it or not, here in our picturesque corner of NJ we are surrounded by trees. I live at the top of a hill and we've never seen a sunrise or sunset from here because of dense, tall trees. There are so many that when Hurricane Sandy gleefully blew down like every other tree (each making it a personal mission to take out electrical wires on the way down), things look hardly any different here.
Recently, our neighbors were having some trees taken down for an addition. These aren't the kid climbing-friendly sort either - we're talking 60 foot oaks. Huge. These tree guys CLIMB TO THE TOP and lower the tree chunk by chunk, chain saw dangling from their belt. Then the final 12-15 feet of trunk is felled all at once; my Sainted wife and I fair bounce out of our comfy couch seats.
$8,000 to take down a tree suddenly doesn't seem like too much, except when I consider how many trees are between me and a good view of sunrise and/or sunset. Way too expensive for curmudgeons.
Recently, our neighbors were having some trees taken down for an addition. These aren't the kid climbing-friendly sort either - we're talking 60 foot oaks. Huge. These tree guys CLIMB TO THE TOP and lower the tree chunk by chunk, chain saw dangling from their belt. Then the final 12-15 feet of trunk is felled all at once; my Sainted wife and I fair bounce out of our comfy couch seats.
$8,000 to take down a tree suddenly doesn't seem like too much, except when I consider how many trees are between me and a good view of sunrise and/or sunset. Way too expensive for curmudgeons.
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Housecleaning
My Sainted wife and I happen to use a house cleaning service. We tried Mabel down the street AND Esmerelda across town, but service companies seem to be more reliable. Plus we're very happy with their work.
Before they show up, I sort of clear the decks so they can dust, hiding the sex toys, off-color DVDs and such.
My wife? She pre-cleans the whole damn house. I don't get it - the CLEANING people are coming for god's sake. But she'll rinse out sinks, make beds and all manner of nonsense. She's not alone! I personally know of others who also engage in this extraordinarily bizarre practice.
Curmudgeons are the sort who unselfishly give "the help" meaningful work that they can sink their teeth into. Hence, if you're the cleaners, there's stuff for you to clean. And as we're the paying customer, we let you.
Simple.
Before they show up, I sort of clear the decks so they can dust, hiding the sex toys, off-color DVDs and such.
My wife? She pre-cleans the whole damn house. I don't get it - the CLEANING people are coming for god's sake. But she'll rinse out sinks, make beds and all manner of nonsense. She's not alone! I personally know of others who also engage in this extraordinarily bizarre practice.
Curmudgeons are the sort who unselfishly give "the help" meaningful work that they can sink their teeth into. Hence, if you're the cleaners, there's stuff for you to clean. And as we're the paying customer, we let you.
Simple.
Monday, April 20, 2015
Sandals
As the weather warms, people and things ooze out of dark crevices where they have been happily hidden during the winter. Sandals on men are some of the things that inevitably appear.
Sadly, they should not. Unless accompanied by a toga, they really have no place on men's feet in public in this day and age. They may have looked good on Steve Reeves in Hercules movies from the 50s, but they don't look good on ANY guy in the 21st century.
Try as guys might, the above picture captures the dilemma: no sandal design makes it OK.
Friday, April 17, 2015
The American Section
This one sort of blew my mind, then I realized "Oh, of course". Outside the US, grocery stores have "American" food sections just like we have "Asian" and "Mexican" sections.
The real insight comes from what this particular British store stocked the "American" section with. I see maple syrup, marshmallows, marshmallow Fluff, ridiculously sweet cereals, Pop-Tarts, and mucho candy amply represented, along with an odd assortment of drinks (bottled, flavored, sweetened iced teas it seems). There are even Twinkies (RIP).
Pretty much the only non-sweet thing there is the A1 steak sauce.
I don't think I care for our portrayal.
The real insight comes from what this particular British store stocked the "American" section with. I see maple syrup, marshmallows, marshmallow Fluff, ridiculously sweet cereals, Pop-Tarts, and mucho candy amply represented, along with an odd assortment of drinks (bottled, flavored, sweetened iced teas it seems). There are even Twinkies (RIP).
Pretty much the only non-sweet thing there is the A1 steak sauce.
I don't think I care for our portrayal.
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